Wednesday, February 1, 2012


Feelin feisty. It could be the red wine, or maybe its the prosciutto. Either way, I'll tell you about the dating pool in SB. I promise this weekends blog will have food related stuff. I'll be in Salt Lake City, UT and am bound to eat something tasty.

Anyway, this last weekend I went on a man hunt with my gal pal M. M is recently single too so we had similar objectives. I am weirdly fearless when it comes to men. I will go up to anyone, talk to anyone, call anyone over. This proved to be a negative. Let me break down who I met:

Bald Ego:

Spotted a cute guy at Joe's. I motioned for him to come over. He did. We talked and he seemed cool. I gave him my number. However, he was wearing a beanie. M asked him to reveal his hair, and he was totally bald. NOT A GOOD LOOK. Two days later he texts me. I text him back short answers cause hey, its a text. He proceeds to send me this:

"You are quite loquacious with your texts. Whats with all your short answers? I'm beginning to think I'm talking with a child."

Ok wow. Game over.

Scooby Doo and Desperation Too:
M saw a guy she thought was cute. As a good friend, I offered to be a wing man and start a convo with said guy. My job then was to chat up the friend who looked like Shaggy from Scooby Doo while M did her thang. I asked cute guy for a cigarette (I dont smoke), choked on one for awhile to get the convo going and then talked to Shaggy to keep him busy. Shaggy was cool except the opposite of my type. He was about 6'4" with shaggy hair and super skinny. I gave him my # because I was bored. Since Saturday, he has texted me 4 times and called 3. Desperation is a stinky cologne.

Antique Creeps:
Last guy of the night was odd. He came up to me while I was waiting in line to get into The Savoy. He was ok looking in the face, problem was, he was wearing the following:
1. Sparkly Ed Hardy baseball cap
2. Tight jeans
3. Cowboy boots

He looked like he was pushing 40 too. He was super complimentary and asked for my number. I started to give it to him because at this point I had 4 beers. Immediately, I asked him what my name was. He couldn't remember. Normally I don't care, but this guy was gross. He kept calling me "cutie." I refused to tell him my name or give him the rest of my number. He finished with, "I see you're playing hard to get. Ok cutie, I'll call you later."

Major gross. And asshole, you can't call me. You don't know my name or number.

So if this is whats left out there for us single (approaching 30) women, ummm I give up. Santa Barbara is clearly a mess. Next weekend, I guess Ventura?


  1. Ha ha. That's funny. I bet there are some good people to be met in SB......And that bald guy is confusing. How can you at once be loquacious and text back short answers??!! I don't get it. By the way, don't I send the longest texts ever???? Ha ha.

    1. You send seriously long texts. But youre my sis so its ok.

      Bald Guy was a weirdo. He totally used that word wrong. Or maybe he was going for funny? Either way. Wrong choice.

  2. I seriously think you would have fun online dating. It's totally a normal thing now.

  3. Also: go out to eat by yourself AND sit at the bar and have a glass of wine and read a book. Do it early evening. Like maybe around 5:00 oor 6:00--when things are slow. I met both Billy and Ron Taj that way. And I didn't really date much before I started trying out that "method." I think it's an way way to meet the menz. And even if you don't meet anyone, at least you got to have a glass of wine and a nice meal. ;)

    1. Ha! That is true. I always meet the menz when traveling because I sit at the bar by myself and order a meal and read. Sweet method.

    2. Although, I think your method will force me to only meet poor waiters. Hmmm....not good.

  4. Ha ha. Yeah: you are right. This method only yeilds poor menz. ;)