This guy sucks at his job.
Ok, so its only been days since the last post and I have wanted to say SO many things. Problem is, when you have a blog that isn't so private, and you actually post pics of yourself and your real name, you kinda limit yourself as to what you can write. But I have zero qualms about embarrassing myself (part of my charm) so I'm gonna take a risk here:
Single life is exhausting. It really is. I feel the need to go to EVERYTHING I am invited to. I don't work out anymore, I don't even eat dinner. I go to work and then find something to do in the PM leaving me very little time to do anything like eat or sleep or clean. I have somehow become my male 20 yr old counterpart. I eat like shit and drink too much beer while the dishes are piling up. Hot right?
Instead of reading a book and eating a sensible meal, I now stand under heat lamps, smoking cigarettes (weird) and actually have my leather jacket melt while deep in mindless conversation. I don't even know this girl anymore...but she's having a lot of fun.
Out of the countless bizarre things that have happened in two weeks, I will retell one great story. I meet and go out with a firefighter, and in the events of ONE night the following happens:
It was a blind date. I was told he was 5'10" and he was more like 5'6". Not like it matters, but come on! What a weird lie. Easily debunked. Within seconds he says, "Are you sure you're 5'2?" Ummmm, yes. Yes I am. I so wanted to punk him on his obvious height lie, but whatever, too easy of a jab.
We went to have beers at a local pub. Conversation was going well and I excused myself to the restroom. I fixed my makeup a bit and blotted my nose. When I returned, dude says the following:
Did you just put on more lip gloss?
Umm, ya. Why?
Cause it's distracting.
Well, you're mouth isn't really your best feature. Your eyes are. So you should wipe off your lipstick and maybe put on more eye makeup next time.
Ill take that into consideration.
WEIRD!!!! Why would you ever say that to someone?? I may not know a lot of things, but I do know that this is an instant way to piss off ANY girl. Our next gem of a conversation goes something like this:
Ive been single for 2 years now. My last girl friend and I were together for over 3 years.
Oh. What happened?
Well we went out one night, and I saw her give her number to another guy. I went up to her and broke it off right then and there and never talked to her again.
Wow! Just like that? After 3 years?? Well, maybe it was a misunderstanding??
Well maaaaaaaaybe you're an idiot.
So let me get this straight.... Homeboy broke off a 3yr relationship like a crazy person, lies about his height, disgraces my makeup skills, and I'M the idiot??? Projection much?
To cause further confusion, he sends a very nice bouquet the next day to me at work thanking me for such a great date. WAS I ON THE SAME DATE??! I have no clue.
Ok. Game over. Do not pass go....do not collect $200. I want none of this.
On food related stuff: I enjoyed two pints of Anchor Steam Ale. Nice amber color, deliciously frothy, very hoppy and well balanced.