Monday, February 20, 2012

The Vampire

I'm so dangerous. I'm a vampire. Blah blah blah.

Have you ever met someone who was effortlessly smooth? Its almost a turn off. It makes me wonder how many ladies one had to lure to learn that much. Enter the vampire.

I call him the vampire because the kid must have read every Twilight novel front to back and took notes. We literally had 4 conversations regarding the beauty of sunsets. To me, he is ridiculously good looking, pretty funny, and also very smooth. I met him one night at a bar, and he asked for my phone number and then kissed me on the forehead and left. Too smooth. Makes a girl wonder.

I then randomly ran into him three days later at a line dancing lesson which I would never go to! It felt fateful. It was weird and exciting.

He asked me out and we made plans for a date. Our date was great! We went to a food truck festival, a walk on the beach with his dog, dinner and then hung out talking for a couple of hours. It was a full day of being together and it was fun and super comfortable. But that's the problem with vampires, they're smooth and pretty and are use to lots of attention. He told me multiple times how he "wasn't ready for a relationship" or my personal fav, "I don't want a relationship, but when I'm with you, I kinda do." RED FLAGS. I'm not a very trusting person by nature, so these are the types of things I never want to hear. I'm not necessarily looking for a boyfriend right now, but no one likes to hear the "I'm not ready," saga. When someone says those things to you, its best to just believe them.

He called me today to make further plans and I had to just blow him off and tell him I'm not interested. Already deleted him from the facebook too. Funny thing is he was genuinely surprised. Vampires are used to getting what they want, I presume.

Makes me happy to know that I'm not the kinda girl that can be easily won with a cheesy pick up line and some good looks. I'm chalking this experience to a really fun date night with someone cool. I ain't no booty call!


  1. You mean you don't want to try my tactic of pretending to be just friends and then sleeping with him, falling for him, trying to convince yourself you're fine being friends and really you're special to him, and then get heartbroken and bitter when he suddenly does want a relationship - but someone else?

    Trust me, you are awesome and wise. You did the right thing.

    If a guy says he doesn't want a relationship HE BLOODY MEANS IT. Doesn't mean he wouldn't want one with you in some other universe - but right now he's telling you the truth. He's sending mixed signals, sure, but that's how he keeps you interested.

    He is just saying a) he is only looking for fun and b) but stay interested in him. In other words, he doesn't have to feel guilty because he warned you, and now he can flirt with you. Sunsets? Seriously?

    Total vampire is my guess. And if you just wanted a booty call he would be tons of fun. But be honest with yourself because if you want more, it will suck. Because he doesn't.

    You did the right thing and totally saved oodles of heartache.

    When a guy meets a girl and thinks he likes her so much he wants more of her - he would never say that. He would do everything possible to get you to be his girlfriend, not the other way around.

    Anyway, he was just surprised because I bet few girls say no to him. The confidence is sexy and alluring, but it absolutely is because he's done it times before. I'm sure he is attracted to you, how could he not be?

    But damn a short bitter abusive fireman and a gorgeous vampire huh? I guess that means Goldilocks is about to meet the in-between just right, now that you've had too hot and too cold!

    1. Hahaa. Great response. Ya, I figured he was being a vampire. Funny thing is, I wasn't looking for a bf but the MINUTE he said he didn't want a relationship, I was like why the f not? And I like the Goldilocks comparison. That's awesome. Where's my middle??

  2. Ha! That's a great way to describe a vampire. Also: what a cheese ball. "I'm not ready for a relationship." GYAD! Whatever. You had fun and he has probably never been blown off in his whole life. You go girlfriend. Girl power to the max. Down with vampires! ;)

  3. Good call. Anyone who asks people out and then says they don't want a relationship is super lame. It's like going on a job interview and saying you don't want a job. Don't ask people out then! Go play with your XBox and yourself.

    1. It IS super lame. The more I think about it, the less sense it makes. Why would you ask someone out and pay for a date if you had no intentions of dating??? That's where sluts come in. You can just go to a bar and pick up a drunk skank on your way home. No need to pay for anything or be entertaining!

      That's why I have a sneeking suspicion that this is the last I hear from this guy. Now that I've shut him down, I guarantee that the chase is on. Now to validate himself he's gonna try and ask me out again or something stupid.
      Freak show.

  4. it sad that I couldn't read past Food Truck Festival? Sign me up for the next one.